#I did know the door was unlocked
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gay-cripply-scientist · 1 year ago
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The bestie is getting tired of me trying to shove myself in their letterbox
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inkskinned · 9 months ago
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
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kirkwallguy · 18 days ago
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Was going to rb and say this in the tags but i beefed with op one time so i don't want to. anyway i was SEARCHING for this dialogue when i played the quest other day because i had no idea about the burning down the alienage thing until i saw it on here despite exhausting all the dialogue in my first playthrough. i'm pretty sure the actual word used doesn't say burning at all and a minor npc mentions celene destroyed the alienage if you go through her entire dialogue tree. wicked eyes and wicked hearts is sooooo bad at conveying information since it's easily missable, you have to re-enter the ballroom and go out onto a balcony you've already seen to be empty to be introduced to briala, otherwise she just bursts in during a fight and you're expected to know who she is. i don't think people aren't paying attention if they struggle to connect all the dots on this quest
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stardestroyer81 · 2 years ago
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I've been entertaining the idea of creating a Pizza Tower 'AU' wherein I star as the main character and all references to pizza are instead lovingly replaced by games of old, and while I initially wanted to make a set of Toppins based off of my go-to pizza toppings, I had another idea... what if I made a set of Toppins based off of the Bonus Fruit from the Pac-Man franchise?
Enter The Fruitins, a cross between choice selections of Pac-Man's greatest Bonus Fruit and the Toppins! 🍒🍊🍈🥨🍌🔑
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hballegro · 2 months ago
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watching this episode cause its my city and
whats this? a three stooges reference that goes beyond just the recitation of three names??? Curly's gnck-gnck-gnck?? and the face he makes right after of 'god that was so stupid??
a blessing.
also
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birb--birb · 4 days ago
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Soooo guess who decided to play veilguard "just for a little bit" and now it's 4am
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isfjmel-phleg · 9 months ago
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😶 
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cozybearz · 1 month ago
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i somehow managed to shoo that mouse right out the front door of my apartment with a broom this morning and its so funny to me
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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 2 months ago
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Finished my Arsène Lupin collection. What a ride. I cackled several times. 10/10, I already want to reread it.
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seokmattchuus · 4 months ago
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MY ASIAN MART HAS THE KOREAN DRINK POUCHES YJSNGDKHFNGSTHHRWKYSURQ
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takemebacktowheniwassane · 5 months ago
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I was looking for a picture of joe from slih for my discord pfp and holy shit 😰 who let the republicans into broadway. WHO
shit scared me oh my god
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averysmolkirbo · 1 month ago
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guess what everyone today is national coming out day and while i have technically already come out as a lesbian i have found a way celebrate this very important day
at 11:30pm but shut up
i am officially coming out as a supporter of bedehop
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ereborne · 6 months ago
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Song of the Day: May 5
"I Hope It Rains" by Jana Kramer
#song of the day#gotta gotta gotta go to sleep so I'll have to make this one quick#very fun silly song! suits my voice well enough but more than that it sounds good with a smile in my voice#'I hope it rains / hope it pours / I hope she's in heels and those little white shorts / you can't find the keys to unlock the doors'#very fun bridge got a solid build to it. enjoyably unashamedly malicious. makes for a good kitchen song!#I did start humming it originally because I was hoping in a purely benign untargeted way for rain#or targeted I suppose but the target is my garden#the song popped in on the heels of the thought though and it is a good kitchen song so it stuck around while I made my soup#tofu puffs and soup dumplings and young mustard greens and yu choy and udon noodles and a ginger-chili-beef broth#very much a throw things in the pot soup but it was so good and I am so happy#oh you know what I should also listen to is 'Pray for You' by Jaron and the Long Road to Love#also enjoyably unashamedly malicious and such fun to sing. bless the ill-will revenge songs with their good building beat#'I pray your breaks go out runnin down the hill / I pray a flower pot falls from a windowsill / and knocks you in the head like I'd like to#I pray your birthday comes and nobody calls / I pray you're flyin high when your engine stalls#I pray all your dreams never come true / just know wherever you are / near or far#in your house or in your car / wherever you are honey / I'm prayin for you'#might've got that 'honey' in the wrong place actually I haven't heard the song in months but the sentiment is there#I'll have to listen to it tomorrow when I'm awake
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rupertholmes · 11 months ago
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i think if you grew up in my household you would have put a gun to my mom and dad's heads already
#help i came home and they got so ballistic that i didnt say hi to them#after my 9 months of driving myself home and entering the house from work not once have they urged a greeting out of me#why the hell do they care now???#like mom got so mad and i was like um ok * goes back to watching danny gonzalez * then i get shouted at to come to parents room#and im like siiiighhh let me put on my jacket i know this will be a while#and im just getting yelled at and standing there like. is the song and dance over yet. can i get back to my computer#and my dad is like your MOM and I DONT TREAT YOU GUYS LIKE THAT#and im just in my head like.....you give us greetings rather than treating us like human beings.....ok....i would prefer the respect rather#than the greetings....#and my dads like whenever I come home I always greet everyone#and its like. yeah ? i can think of a few times where you havent but it doesnt matter when its you right#oh you can come home and greet everyone yeah but can you treat us with respect? are you capable of not having everyone groan when they hear#your car horn that indicates you're home? do you have the ability to not make everyone hide and vacate to their rooms when they hear your#key unlocking the door? no? then i dont care about the fact you can say hi to everyone#and mom is like lecturing me and my sister about not cleaning as well and its like hi what about your husband#hi maybe you should question why we cant clean our rooms#maybe its the fact you never taught us how to organize or how often to clean? did you know you've never taught us how to properly clean?#did you know i cant clean without a timer? are you aware that your eldest daughter that gives you attitude and promised to be mean when#she's taking care of you in your last years of life doesnt clean whatsoever? the 26 year old that acts just like your husband? the one whos#only chore is to wash dishes and doesnt even do that? she complains shes too tired because of work but even on her off days she doesnt do i#? do you remember that she only does the dishes when she's going out with a boy? do you remember the 3 months where i took it upon myself t#do everyones chores because i had the time? the way you dont acknowledge i helped out a lot during that time and helped keep peace through#the house by doing that? you dont because you love to focus on the negatives and as a result you make your own life miserable#and everyone else's?especially mine because im the one who actually feels guilt? but dont do it bc im tired of doing someone else's work?
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alzi4k · 2 years ago
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Today's childhood memory that makes me ask how no one noticed I was autistic earlier:
My favourite thing to do with LEGO was open and close doors. I would get the LEGO friends sets and I would build them and I wouldn't play with them, no, or not in the normal way. Mostly I would make any excuse for the characters or animals to go through the doors because I really liked opening and closing them. And if the door was secret? Even better. I had one set that was a jungle base that had a waterfall that could slide open to reveal a secret cave. That was my favourite LEGO set ever. Just something about little doors really intrigued me.
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david-watts · 2 years ago
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kinda getting sick of the near daily ‘why don’t you do anything around the place’ argument from a hag who won’t even sneeze in the direction of being patient enough to like. let me do things
#yet alone consider that there might be a system in place for things#like. ok. bins are my job right. I do it closer to tea so that I might get the opportunity to either hide what I'm eating#if it's a frozen item because she yells at me for eating.#which gets annoying after a while lol#or if it's a night I have to get something in I can leave the door unlocked so it's easier because I get yelled at for that too#which I get it's not good for me but she leaves me with one other choice in Not Eating and doing that fucked with me so#I'd rather eat the unhealthy thing than nothing y'know#that's a tangent. anyway#but to her that's awful and bad even though grandpa did the same thing for a similar reason (they'd usually have frozen stuff for tea then)#she's conveniently forgotten that fact and has started doing it herself which for starters iss terrible for her#she's nearly eighty-five she shouldn't be doing that#and because she doesn't know what has to be done she ruins the order of operations#between this and the whole last week's bin scenario just. ugh.#she keeps thinking she's a poverty-stricken farmer when she won't even tend to her own veggies half the time#my m*ther does that!#she'll read about sleep and then yell at us for 'sleeping at the wrong time' and the article'll literally be on differing sleep schedules#being not only normal but ok#if you're not up by eight and home by five you're lazy#she genuinely thinks I spend all day doing nothing when I've been working and like yeah that work is drawing and reading oftentimes#but it's still work I have to get done!#even if i wasn't exhausted by the time we get home because y'know I have five million things wrong with me#I have fibromyalgia. I have pots. that makes me exhausted walking upstairs#I wouldn't be allowed to do any housework because 'it's too late in the day!'#ugh
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